Have A Wedding, Love Your Guests

A wedding wouldn't happen, without a bride and groom. And it wouldn't be much fun without guests. You and your guests will have a wonderful time and everyone will leave with a warm feeling if you purpose to esteem your guests. It doesn't have to cost anything, just some thoughtfulness. Here are some suggestions to help.

• Get off to a good start by spelling their names correctly and not including gift registry enclosures in their invitation. Any mention of gifts, even "no gifts", on the invitation places an inappropriate emphasis on gifts. You are inviting them to celebrate with you, not to reap their gifts.
• Welcome out-of-town guests by including them in any planned activities. Provide maps and ideas for things to do in the area. If necessary, suggest alternate means of transportation, such as shuttle buses or a family member with whom lone guests can carpool.
• If the ceremony will be outdoors, be considerate of your elderly or handicapped guests. Take into account the distance and terrain they may have to cover from the parking area to the ceremony site. Provide shelter from possible rain, wind or intense sun. Have bottled water available.
• Long receiving lines are tedious for everyone and are only required for formal weddings. An option is for the happy couple to stroll around at the reception, visiting each table and giving equal time to all.
• Limit the length of the photography session after the ceremony by taking pre-ceremony photos.
• Your guests will need a place to sit and put their things at the reception. Juggling a camera, wrap and purse while trying to eat and drink is no one's idea of a good time.
• Avoid confusion and dazed looks by making it easy for guests to find their assigned seats. Seat attendants as close to their dates as possible, but elderly guests should not be seated close to the dance floor and loud music. Even if you will not be assigning seats, honor your parents by reserving a table for them.
• Be reasonable with table decorations. Towering centerpieces that interfere with your guests' line of sight will wind up on the floor. Be certain that candles will not tip or be blown over and keep them away from flammable table decorations or small children—or opt for realistic-looking battery-powered candles.
• Wedding expenses are not your guests' obligation. A cash bar is never acceptable. Likewise, leave "BYOB" off the wedding invitation. There are other ways of holding down beverage expenses such as serving punch, soft drinks, wine or beer.
• Always hire a professional bartender who knows how to prevent over-consumption. Besides, your guests are there to enjoy themselves, not to work.
• Your guests want to see a loving couple enjoying their day. Reserve tacky behavior for the bachelor/bachelorette parties (or forgo completely). Cake smashing and other raunchy behavior is embarrassing and unpleasant for many guests. What mental images would you like them to take back home?
• Similarly, have second thoughts before subjecting your guests to the Chicken Dance or the Macarena, which degrade the occasion. Include an assortment of music--something for all ages--that your guests will enjoy. Remember that some will want to socialize, so keep the volume at a reasonable level.
• If possible, welcome children.
  • Provide coloring supplies, small toys and their own exclusive table with kid-pleasing food, and small children will stay busier longer, enjoying the festivities at their own level.
  • "Middle-aged" children (8-12) are usually receptive to helping out, such as watching the smaller children or attending the guest book. If they are involved in some way, they feel less out of place, and will have happy memories of your special day.
  • A short audience with the beautiful bride goes a long way to brighten a little girl's day.
• Try not to leave too soon after the wedding. A day-after brunch, afterglow or gift-opening party will give your friends and family a chance to wish you their best in a relaxed setting. Your parents could be having a difficult time as you leave for your brand new life together. Give them a little extra attention.
• Make a point to thank, in a special way, those people who helped make your wedding a success--sisters who helped with the decorations; friends who shuttled guests, gifts or rentals; aunts who kept the planning on track; the best man and maid of honor who kept you sane; and your parents who made it all possible.
• Write thank-you notes as soon as possible. And don't forget to thank your parents.

Mary Hartford
A parent